My Last Prego Post

I had another doctors appointment on Thursday. Blaine is still floating and there is no pressure on my cervix so I'm still not dilated at all. My Dr. Thinks I'll stay in this boat for a few more weeks, and they don't let you go past 1 week so I'm scheduled for an induction tomorrow (Saturday the 29th) at 11am. I am at a higher risk for a c-section because there might be a reason that he wont descend and if he can't descend then they'll have to c-section him. My Dr. also told me that I will probably have a long labor since he's so high up. Nate and I are preparing for the worst so that when everything goes smoothly we can be relieved, but if things don't go so well then we're mentally and emotionally prepared. I think that the worst that will happen is a long labor followed by a c-section. I really hope things go smoother than that, but I guess all that matters is that I live through it and Blaine is healthy and happy in the end. Think of me tomorrow and keep us in your prayers. I'll let you know how it all works out.

39.5 Weeks

One of the perks for working for a master photographer.

Thanks Travis!

Still a 0

Blaine is just kind of floating... he's not really wanting to be born right now. I think I have the patience to just wait for him to get his act together, but my doctor seems a little skeptical that he ever will. I have the feeling I'm going to end up getting induced. I've been reading a lot about it, and it seems like when you aren't progressing, an induction is a lot harder on your body. I'm not very worried about having to get a c-section because my hospital has very low rates and I've been reading that once you're past 40 weeks, it doesn't really increase the risk. If anything I might have to get a c-section because Blaine might not be able to engage down into my pelvis. He might be facing the wrong way or have his hands up or something. I just hope he doesn't get all tangled up in his chord. Right now I'm thinking I'll just wait until next week's appointment and if I'm still a 0 and Blaine is still floating, then I'll schedule an induction. Once babies go past 41 weeks there are more risks, but I don't really see a need to induce before then.

One concern of mine is that I don't want him to be born on Halloween. I know it's stupid, but the further I have him from a holiday the happier I'll be. I'd like to either have him today or a week after halloween, but not on the day or the day before or after. I really wouldn't mind having him today. The thought that I could just call up my doctor and say "let's get this thing over with" and I'd have a baby today is really exciting! But I don't think there's a need yet and I can hang on a little longer. I just don't want to put myself through a terrible birth because Blaine and I both weren't ready. I also don't want to wait too long so that there are more risks. Especially if there's a higher change for Blaine to get tangled up and have complications. I'm due on Tuesday the 25th and I have a doctor's appointment on the 26th. I'm just kind of hoping Blaine will get with the program before then so I don't have to make any decisions.

Slowly not progressing, just waiting for Blaine

Had my cervix checked this week (which was a lot more uncomfortable than I was anticipating, they really get up in there) and the doctor said that I am dilated to a..... 0. That's right, haven't opened up at all yet. He wasn't surprised since Blaine's head isn't really engaged into my pelvis. He's still just kind of floating so he's not putting any pressure down there to get things started. I know that you can be a 0 and then start labor the next day, but it's still hard not to interpret the news as "Blaine will be a while, so don't get excited." I just know I'm going to go over my due date. I was reading my grandma Arnett's memoirs and she was always over her due date several weeks so I feel like I'll be the same. She also gave birth like a champ so I hope I inherit that from her too. Though she did have a fast and unexpected home birth, which I hope to avoid.

I have been feeling a lot of anxiety the last few days about being a parent, giving birth, and quitting my job. My whole purpose of life is about to change and it's already a foreign and difficult adjustment. I'm worried about being lonely and bored, feeling like I don't have a huge drive or goals. I am trying to think of a list of hobbies, but they're all so expensive. It'll also be weird not having my income as spending money. I want Diedre back. She would take care of me and we'd work on little projects together while she would teach me to be a good mom.

I'm excited for next week. Kathleen and Abigail are coming! It's also the company Halloween party. Everyone at work isn't so sure about me running through a straw maze and venturing through a haunted house, but I say I'm up for it even if it kills me! I need some excitement. Plus, I won't get to see everyone at work as often once I squeeze Blaine out. They're my best friends and quitting work is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done.

A little scare

Today I had a doctor's appointment. Everything was going just like normal when the doctor went to feel for Blaine's head to make sure it was pointing down. He looked a little concerned and said he couldn't feel anything. Then he felt around my stomach and could feel his head on the right side of me. He had me go into the ultrasound room so they could check what position Blaine was in and sure enough, Blaine's head was on my right side, his bum was on my left side, and his feet were downward. He was exactly sideways looking down. The ultrasound technician kept saying what an odd position this was and she acted as though she had never seen a baby posed like that. I asked her if it was a problem and she told me no. Then she asked how far along I am and I told her 37 weeks. She then took back her statement and said that at this point in my pregnancy, it was a concern. She didn't seem too worried though. She just explained that they would try to turn Blaine manually. Normally when they do this, you have to go to the hospital just in case something goes wrong, but my doctor said since it wasn't breech and since I have plenty of amniotic fluid, he saw no risk in trying to turn him there in the office. So he grabbed my stomach and pushed Blaine in the right position. It didn't hurt at all and Blaine moved quickly. The doctor then explained that if he moved again then they might need to induce me the next time they repositioned him, otherwise I'll probably have to have a c-section. Nate knows how to check to see if Blaine's head is down so I'm going to have him do that each night just so I can know what's going on. I think I'll be able to tell, but I'll have Nate help me just to be sure.

After my appointment, Nate took me out to lunch and I explained everything to him. I was really shook up. I don't know why because in my head I knew everything was okay. I think it's just because this is the first thing that hasn't gone perfectly this whole pregnancy. I'm not worried about it now. I'm just grateful that Blaine and I are both okay. The drama is in the delivery, not our health so that's something to be thankful for. Whatever happens, whether I have a c-section, am induced, or everything works out natural I know it's going to be just fine. I'm just glad I have Nate with me to go through everything with me. He's been the best.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention... it snowed today! I'm sure it'll all be melted by tomorrow, but it was still a wake up call to the Rexburg winters. Hopefully we'll have a few more good weeks before it snows again.

Breast feeding and Steve Jobs

So I went to a free breast feeding class last week. I am all for breast feeding. My mom brain washed me good enough to know it's the best route to take, but this class made me feel like breast feeding is a cult. We watched this really happy video where things like "Breast feeding is great for the environment, for you, and for your baby!" were said by a woman who was obviously smiling too big when she was talking. Also, they seemed really eager to show video of women's nipples and breasts. Something I understand is essential to see if you're going to watch a demonstration, but I was surprised to see like 20 different women, all with their breasts out just for things like the introduction. And it's not like these are pretty breasts, these are 'I just gave birth to a baby' breasts. I guess they just want me to get with the program and be comfortable with that sort of thing. I'm just glad I didn't invite Nate to come with me. We had one dad in there with his wife and I could tell he was uncomfortable. Poor guy. In the end, I'm really glad I went because I did learn a lot and found it very instructive.

In other news, Steve Jobs died today. I'm glad he resigned as CEO before he died as I'm sure apple would have been left in ruins if he hadn't prepared a way for them to run without him. Nate and I were joking that Steve must have read the reviews for the iPhone 4s and it killed him. One thing that might be good for publicity is now less people are focused on their disappointment about not getting the iPhone 5, and we're all focused on how much we love Steve Jobs (just wait for all the biographies to start pouring in). One thing is for sure, I am not super excited about apple's future now that Steve is out of the picture. I'm sure it will remain a large and powerful company for a good while, but I wonder if it will keep up with the demands for the nerds. I guess we'll just have to watch what happens next.

2 weeks and 6 days 'till Blaine's due!