My foot is asleep

I know I know, all I blog about is pregnancy things but you need to understand, that's pretty much the only thing that's going on with my lately. Plus, it's such a big change for me so it's all I think about. There are so many random things that happen due to pregnancy and the whole experience is different than I thought it would be (better in a lot of ways since I've never been sick or really that sore or anything.) For instance, my limbs fall asleep constantly.

My sister Diedre warned me about this but I didn't know how serious she was. I have to wake up in the night just to reajust my arms so that blood will find its way back to them. Right now, my foot is asleep and I'm barely leaning on it and it's only been that way for like a minute. When I kneel down to fold laundry or something, it takes less than a minute for both of my feet to be asleep. Once I thought I would just let them go numb and wake them up later. BIG MISTAKE!!! It hurt so bad like the worst pins and needles I've ever had! I wanted to cry!

On a different (still prego related) note, I went to the doctor last week and he checked to see if Blaine's head was down yet, and he took his thumb and his middle finger and stretched them apart, pressed hard just below my tummy, and wiggled his hand back and fourth and said he could feel the head and everything was as it should be. This weirded me out that he claimed to have just felt Blaine's head and I told Nate about it that night. Nate was intrigued and I told him what the doctor did and Nate tried it. Nate jumped back with a really weirded out look on his face and told me that he totally felt Blaine's little baby head move back and fourth in his hand. I tried it myself and I felt it too! It's the weirdest thing! (hopefully Blaine doesn't have problems due to us moving his head back and fourth too much that day). It was really cool for both of us and it makes Blaine seem more real.

Bending over is getting harder too. Pregnant belly is way different than I thought it would feel. It's way more packed in and squishy to the rest of me than I thought it would be. Sometimes when I bend over to get something, I get a little out of breath and it puts a lot of pressure on my insides. Also, Blaine keeps getting the hiccups in the middle of the night. The last two nights I have been kept up by his hiccups! It's hard to sleep when there's a baby twitching in your belly.

Well, that's about it. 5 more weeks to go!

I don't care if other women have given birth!

Sometimes when I think about the fact that I will indefinitely have to go through the whole labor and birthing thing, it makes me afraid. Sure I'll get through it but it's still a bit of a daunting thought. I think I hate hate hate it when people say "just think of all the women who have given birth before you." ...that's nice. Good for them! Something they don't talk about is the millions of complications that have happened before me too. I get where their coming from. They're thinking in terms of "dude, it's a common thing and you can figure it out like the rest of them." and I'm thinking in terms of "ouch, that sounds like it hurts and is difficult to recover from. That will be miserable for me to go through." I'm not saying that I'm the only one or that I'm singled out here, I'm just saying that it is scary. It's like if I had a hammer and told you I was going to stub your toe. Would it comfort you to know that other toes have been stubbed before yours and that you would heal? No. You would think "AHHH!"

Things that would be more comforting would be to say something about how I'm a strong individual, I have good genes, people will support me, it'll be worth it, time will pass, etc. Not lessening the scary and painful situation by comparing me to other people, but actually focusing on what I have to go through.

Crazy Dreams

I've always had weird dreams but being prego makes things even weirder. I have probably dreamed of giving birth at least 50 times and each time I think to myself "Woah, that didn't even hurt a bit!" Then there's also those dreams where halfway through I realize that my baby is 1 week old and I have never fed it!

I know that I'm not the only one who has reoccurring dreams about their future babies. Diedre had one where she would walk into her living room to find Ethan holding a ginormous baby and Diedre would be so confused because she never remembered giving birth or going to the hospital.

Last night I have two dreams where I had Blaine. The first dream my water broke while I was with Esther at MCC. We got into her car but we didn't know where the hospital was. We drove around for hours and finally found one. I checked in and the nurses said I wasn't even in labor, but they'd induce me since my water broke. They did but still nothing happened. Then one of the nurses checked to see how dilated I was and Blaine was crowning. She yelled for a doctor, but no one could come in time and she delivered my baby (a painless and easy birth). The baby was super cute, but no one but the nurse was there with me. Nate hadn't even been there. Finally Marquette and Cameron brought Nate and he was able to hold Blaine. I thought to myself "is this a dream? or is this finally the real deal?" I decided this one was for real but then I shortly woke up.

I'm sure my dreams with only get worse and worse the closer Oct 25th comes. I just hope that when it really isn't a dream it's still painless :)